George Carlin Musings
Additional stuff in post #6
From his book entitled "Napalm & Silly Putty". Short Takes If the police never find it, is it still a clue? There is something I like about the clitoris, but I can't quite put my finger on it. People on a diet should have a salad dressing called "250 islands". They say only 10 percent of the brain's function is known. Apparently the function of the remaining 90 percent is to keep us from discovering its function. When you think about it, 12:15PM is actually 11:75AM. An Art thief is a man who takes pictures. Euphemisms At some point in my life, the following changes have occurred: toilet paper = bathroom tissue sneakers = running shoes false teeth = dental appliances medicine = medication information = directory assistance the dump = the landfill motels = motor lodges house trailers = mobile homes used cars = previously owned vehicles room service = guest room dining riot = civil disorder strike = job action zoo = wildlife park jungle = rain forest swamp = wetlands glasses = prescription eyewear garage = parking structure drug addiction = substance abuse soap opera = daytime drama gambling joint = gaming resort prostitute = sex worker theater = performing arts center wife beating = domestic violence constipation = occasional irregularity Ok, that's enough for now. More later... |
Gotta luv george.:rofl1:
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
George Carlin http://www.radford.edu/~wkovarik/cla...ges/carlin.jpg Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin |
...sounds like a snack food, tater t*t's, Cheese tit's...
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:lmao:
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More Short Takes
Suppose you took an oath by placing your right hand on the Bible and raising your left? Would the oath still count? Does God really give a ****? Does anyone? There are eleven teams in the Big Ten. Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff? The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. I think we ought to just go ahead and make "zillion" a real number. "Gazillion," too. A zillion could be ten million trillions, and a gazillion could be a trillion zillions. It seems to me it's time to do this. When I was a kid I can remember saying, "Cross my heart and hope to die." I'd like to confess now that I never really meant the second part. Don't you think it's funny that all these tough-guy boxers are fighting over a purse? I wonder: On rainy nights does the sandman send the mudman? When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands. Regarding "safe and sound": I've often been safe, but seldom have I been thought of as sound. What exactly is a wingding? Why do they call one sport "women's tennis," and then turn around and call the other one "ladies' golf"? Ok, enough for now...:yesnod: |
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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