I'd never be able to pull this off.
 

Older but not Wiser
>
> A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th
> birthday. She spend
> $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On
> her way home, she
> stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before
> leaving, she says to the
> clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old
> do you think I am?"
>
> "About 32," is the reply.
>
> "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
>
> A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
> the counter girl
> the very same question.
>
> The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
>
> The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
>
> Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops
> in a drug store
> on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter
> to get some mints
> and asks the clerk this burning question.
>
> The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
>
> Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
>
> While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old
> man waiting next
> to her the same question.
>
> He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
> Although, when I was
> young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a
> woman was. It sounds
> very forward, but it requires you to let me put my
> hands under your bra.
> Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
> are."
>
> They wait in silence on the empty street until her
> curiosity gets the
> best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell,
> go ahead."
>
> He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins
> to feel around
> very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each
> breast and he
> gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts
> together and rubs them
> against each other.
>
> After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
> okay...How old am
> I?"
>
> He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
> his hands, and
> says, "Madam, you are 50."
>
> Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was
> incredible, how could you
> tell?"
>
> The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
>
> "I promise I won't." she says.
>
> "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
>

:lmao: :thumbsup:

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

:lmao: :rofl1: