DO YOU PASS GAS IN BED?
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> > *
> >
> >
> >
> > THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN
> > HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.
> >
> >
> >
> > THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF
> > FARTING
> >
> > LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND
> >
> > THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.
> >
> >
> >
> > EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF
> > BECAUSE
> > IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT
> > IT WAS
> >
> > PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR. SHE WAS
> > CONCERNED THAT
> >
> > ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
> >
> >
> >
> > THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE
> >
> > THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER
> > AND HE
> >
> > WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS OF THE TURKEY
> > -
> >
> > GIZZARD AND LIVER.
> > A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.
> >
> >
> >
> > SHE TOOK THE GIZZARD AND LIVER UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND
> >
> > ASLEEP, AND GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE
> >
> > ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND PUT THEM INTO HIS SHORTS.
> >
> >
> >
> > SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING
> >
> > WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF
> > FRANTIC
> >
> > FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY
> > CONTROL
> >
> > HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER
> >
> > YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.
> >
> >
> >
> > ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS
> >
> > BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT
> > HER
> >
> > LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
> >
> >
> >
> > HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT. ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED
> > ME
> > AND I
> >
> > DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.
> >
> >
> >
> > 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.
> >
> >
> >
> > 'WELL,
> > YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS
> >
> > OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 'BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK
> > I GOT
> >
> > MOST OF IT BACK IN.'*
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