Growing up I never "feared" my parents, either of them. I "respected" them for what they were...my parents.
I wanted thier love, thier trust and thier admiration, and knowing I did something that might change that trust or admiration, wounded me much more than any physical punishment they could dish out. That said, neither of my parents were opposed to whipping my arse if I got out of line.
When/if I did something to embarras them or make them ashamed of my actions, the corporal punishment was considerably less than the mental anguish I went through knowing how they felt.
They never went over the edge.They did what they felt they had to do and no more.
They never struck above the waist (unless I ducked
) and never with anything that was going to do permanent damage. Tghier punishment was always tempered with love and compassion. I know it sounds crazy, but you knew it then as I knew it now
I don't believe in nor do I agree with either physical or mental torture.
Corporal punishment however, metered out in the proper doses, in the proper fashion and to the proper location, is
with me.
All this namsy pamsy, I'm gonna call HRS (children & family services or what the hell ever they call themselves this month!), you can't spank you child (which BTW-is a fallacy), BS is for the birds!!
Here's a quarter. Now this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you...
BTW, I too was adopted and know the true value of loving parents.
I was raised in a lower/middle class area in eastern Hillsborough County. Both of my parents worked to support the household as did I from the time I was about 14 (officially).
As GURO mentioned, I too have been involved either training, fighting or teaching the martial arts and self defense since I was about 19 (I'm 51 now-you do the f
n math
) and although I could physically have ripped my dad apart any time over the last 25-30 years in a fight, I NEVER gave him flak or grief
when he said something, I listened and understood. And I still went to him occassionally for wisdom and guidance. As one comedian once said, you don't get old being stupid!
This IMO is what's lacking in our society today. Honor, respect, dignity.
My father was a former Golden Gloves boxer and taught me a lot about boxing as a youth. He also taught me a LOT about being a good person. Never start a fight, but don't be afraid to end one.
They taught me right from wrong and instilled in me those charachteristice which prevented me from ending up as the vast majority of my associates...dead or in jail. All but 3 from my youth that I associated with regularly (in the neighborhood) are in that boat.
I became a cop...
Mom died proud as she could be of my chosen profession.
Dad lived with me unitl he passed away at age 93 just a few short years ago.
To the day he died, I never lost respect for him...life as it should be...
The rest as they say...is history....
Gordon