I can recall a long time ago, looking through magazines and newspapers, seeing something curious in ads, and even editorials. Businesses were starting to put odd annotations about "emailing" them and visiting their site at _____.com. I had heard of the internet, of course, in the computer related magazines I was reading at the time. But it seemed like some sort of arcane nerd network where the geeks could hang out by typing messages on a keyboard and watching received messages scroll across the screen through their phone line modems. Now, suddenly, this was becoming mainstream.
I started thinking that perhaps there was something to this, and that perhaps I needed to jump into this myself. It sort of looked like this internet stuff was here to stay. This was back in the mid '90s, and I thought perhaps my SerpenCo business might be worthwhile taking advantage of this new medium obviously gaining steam. I could see the potential of posting pics "online" along with a price list, instead of spending a fortune every year mailing out lists and some accompanying photos. Heck, this could actually be a GOOD thing.
So we fast forward to now. Over the last few years, I have been highly resistant of the "smart" phone generation, because quite honestly, I just didn't see the need for it. Obviously I had been looking at it only from the "phone" aspect, rather than the "smart" aspect. I really don't want to get phone calls when I am anywhere else but in my home. So spending the kind of money these things were demanding for the opportunity to be bothered by a phone call while I am out driving, out shopping, eating dinner out, or even walking the beach, just didn't make any sense to me. Heck, I can remember a time when if someone called you on the phone and asked you "where are you", that would be grounds to throw a straight jacket on them and haul them away. I also remember a time when someone would be walking down the street apparently talking to themselves, that you knew to just give them a wide berth and try not to make eye contact with them. But things have changed.
And to be perfectly honest, from the phone calls I have gotten from people using this cell phone technology, with the conversation breaking up all of the time with only every other word being completely audible, and sometimes making what the other party was saying completely indecipherable, I just couldn't see the sense to it. Seemed like a lot of money to pay for half baked technology. Heck, I still see people who have to walk outside in order to use their phones. Rain or shine. But this technology HAS to have improved, right? RIGHT??
So anyway here comes this deja vu slowly creeping up on me. I start seeing these odd square boxes in magazines and newspapers, saying something like "For more information"..... next to the boxes. Hmmm.... They don't even say what you are supposed to DO with those boxes, like everyone already knows. So yeah, that tingling sensation has started building up on the back of my neck. I can feel the hair growing all over my body as I become a caveman suddenly thrust into the future.
But still I had been resistant, although I could feel the cracks in the armor of my excuses. So the breaking point came back in June, when Connie and I were on Sanibel Island and we took our bikes and rode down to the "Ding" Darling National Wildlife Refuge. Used to be they would have various signs along the way, explaining the wildlife, or history, or some other aspect of the natural features along the way. Not any more. Know what they have now?
Yeah, that is it. No text for the "smart phone challenged" cavemen. You either have a smart phone to scan that box, or you are just plain out of luck if you want to know what the sign is trying to tell you. A caveman would have felt no less out of his element looking at those signs. They meant absolutely nothing to me. If they had said, "walk forward 4 feet, start digging, and there is a million dollars in the ground", I would have passed it by because I could not have read that message. I will tell you, that was a real smack in the head for me.
So at first I was irritated. How DARE them to treat me like a caveman! So I stewed in silence on that while continuing to ride my bicycle on down the road, thinking hard about what this meant. Then I started feeling worried. Suppose this is the future staring at me. Suppose it is going to become NECESSARY to have a smart phone eventually. Shades of the mark of the devil! I have already had several instances of online verification requiring receiving a text message that I could not comply with. So is this where this is all headed? Eventually you will not be able to accomplish simple basic tasks without having a smart phone in order to do it. Heck, I don't know how many household devices now have apps that will run on a smart phone. A while back I was really interested in getting one of those radio controlled drones to take aerial video, but most of them required a smart phone or tablet as the visual interface. So I lost interest and put that idea WAY back on the back burner. But how long before I won't be able to drive a new car because it too will need to interface with a smart phone? Or I find that I cannot even use the microwave oven without one? Or I come to a door one day that requires the use of a cell phone to provide ID so I can gain entry? Sheesh.....
OK, OK, yeah I know most of you already have your smart phones and probably cannot understand why I don't too, and this is all pretty humorous to you. I'm an old guy, so ease up on me. I am coming around. I finally see no choice but to surrender to the tide. I am going to finally get one of these new fangled devices, because it appears that sooner rather than later, I will have no choice. Of course, I will probably stencil "666" on the back of it, and be damned for all eternity, but what the heck. It's the price I am going to have to pay to come out of the cave, I guess.
But I am asking of you all that if you see me sitting at dinner with Connie, or walking through a mall, or driving, with my nose stuck to my cell phone, oblivious to the outside world, please just SHOOT me. Well, shoot the phone first, please, and if I look like my soul has been taken from me with the death of my cell phone, THEN shoot me. I have seen these things apparently taking over people's lives. Heck, I have been reading up on smart phones in articles on the net, and I actually read one where the author claimed that buying a smart phone is going to be the most important decision you can make in your life. I kid you not. And I seriously hope no one really believes that. Because if it were true, we are in some SERIOUS trouble as a society.
I suppose it's just a matter of time before these things are going to be required to be implanted into our brains and make cyborgs out of us. Of course, I also suppose that a majority of the people thoroughly hooked on their cell phones would welcome the convenience of something like that and fight to get first in line to have that done. It probably wouldn't even have to be made mandatory for most folks.
Oh well... Welcome to the Borg, Caveman.