I'm so sorry for your loss. Even if you weren't close.
As far as giving advice... I can only tell you what i'd do if it were me.
I haven't seen my dad since I was 18 (in the Navy), i'm now 40.
Before that, He was/is an alcoholic and used to beat us kids and my mother all of the time, especially on their anniversary.
When I was about 10 or 11 my brother and I were in bed (it was their anniversary), mom had cooked a special meal for the occassion, and in return he proceeded to beat her.
Eventually the screaming got to be so bad, I got out of bed to go see what was going on.
I found my dad standing over my mom, with one hand on her throat and the other gripping a knife, threatening to stab her.
I asked what was happening, he turned to see me, dropped the knife and ran out of the house.
There are many more stories/incidents regarding my dad and my childhood, but i'm not here to tell you about all of my chldhood problems, nor to make light of your loss.
I only tell you this, because even know he was the way he was, i'd probably go to his funeral or creamation.
I'd want to atleast bid him farewell and ask GOD to forgive him whereas I could not.
Again, my heart goes out to you, as you must be going thru so many mixed feelings today.
~Ray
|