Ok King! I finally got around to the wipers today.
I figured out what was wrong. The plastic holder that bolts on to the passenger side of the wiper assembly broke. What I'm talking about is the black plastic piece that holds the little lug where you screw the wiper onto.
I took the old assembly and tried to take the old one off but it was impossible without totally wrecking it. Call me ghetto (like I haven't heard that sh!t before!) but since there was enough left on each side of the plastic holder, I took the screws off and removed the broken piece. Through those two now vacant holes, I run two zipties through them and zip-tied that s.o.b. real nice and tight. Used a couple of nuts from a standard 1/4" to get the alignment right and the passenger side lug, now goes through the cowel completely.
I adjusted the hood latches a little to assure that the wiper on the driver's side will NEVER touch the hood again and VIOLA, both wipers are working superbly. The passenger's side no longer lifts up and off the windshield and wipers up and down nicely. Problem solved.