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Just For Laughs! Got a story to tell that tickles the funny bone? Heard a REALLY good joke? How about sharing those stories here with us?

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Unread 02-28-2008, 07:08 AM   #1
gmjunkie
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Default "GEEZER" snicker !!

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"Sex!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know" Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She walked
around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."


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Unread 02-28-2008, 07:41 AM   #2
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That'll be me at 95
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Unread 02-28-2008, 09:37 AM   #3
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OMG
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Unread 02-28-2008, 01:01 PM   #4
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Unread 02-28-2008, 02:47 PM   #5
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Unread 03-04-2008, 04:49 PM   #6
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Talking Florida Lottery

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery in Florida.

He goes to Tallahassee to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.

The Redneck says "I want my $20 million."

To which the man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way.

We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it."

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!!

If you're not going to give me my $20 million "right now,"

THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!!


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Unread 03-05-2008, 10:40 AM   #7
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