[grumpyvette]

think it thru, everything's going to be a compromise in one way or another
almost any gun can produce wounds that will eventually prove fatal, but it takes good shot placement and a minimal power level to produce a wound that's highly likely to stop a determined adversary quickly ,under most conditions,if hes intent on doing you a great deal of harm at spitting distances , ESPECIALLY if hes on drugs or basically insane. IT does you little good to shoot randomly placed holes in an attacker that will prove fatal in 30-45 minutes, if he cuts your throat or shoots holes in you during the first 5 seconds of the violent confrontation
IF your forced to fight, for your life,if your opponents not down and out, DON,T STOP SHOOTING!
FAILURE to destroy the CNS (BRAIN OR UPPER SPINE) will usually NOT RESULT in instant stops
even several center mass hits that will eventually prove fatal will not insure the attacker can,t continue to fight for a few minutes, even non-survivable wounds don,t necessarily, stop an antagonist instantly

selecting a defensive hand gun is an individual process where your forced compromise to achieve a reasonable balance between your personal ability to control, hard hitting power and its higher recoil levels and your guns basic operator friendliness, your choices in caliber and firearm increase or decrease your speed and accuracy, and its that speed and accuracy with its mandatory lower recoil and power levels,that will tend to dictate you choices, only hits count, but only carefully placed hits on an opponent with enough destructive power, will quickly end a threat, if they can be depended on to destroy the central nervous system, organs or major skeletal structure of your opponent

for most people who are willing to train, frequently the 38spc and 9mm in a medium size revolver or pistol are easily handled
for most people the upper recoil levels of the 10mm and 41mag and the lower load levels in the 45acp, are controllable but for some people ,borderline excessive
the 357 mag, 40s&w and 44 spcl and moderate 45acp loads, fall in the mid range, the the 10mm and 41mag and the lower load levels in the 45acp,are certainly usable, but require frequent training to excel in their use

OK IVE always felt that the main concern is having a tool that will get the job done effectively, rather than just having the easiest gun to carry concealed, while its true , that to be useful the choice must be carried with you almost all the time so you'll have access to the handgun should it be necessary, having a handgun for self defense is a bit like carrying a fire extinguisher in the car, you need to have fast easy access, but you sure hope you'll never need to use it, and some thought about where you go, what you do, and how you go about it can lower the odds of it ever being necessary for you to use either one!
IF your forced to fight, for your life,if your opponents not down and out, DON,T STOP SHOOTING!
THINK, BEFORE YOU ACT,AVOIDING A CONFRONTATION IS THE BEST ROUTE ABOUT 99% OF THE TIME, BUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOUR RESPONSE BETTER BE WELL THOUGHT THRU BEFORE HAND AS THERE WILL BE VERY LITTLE TIME TO DO SO UNDER THE ACTUAL THREAT CONDITIONS, AND YOU'VE GOT TO RESPOND CORRECTLY AND HAVE THE NECESSARY SKILLS AND EQUIPMENT,....ONCE YOU NEED TO USE A HANDGUN, YOU'VE SCREWED UP SOME HOW, AND ITS GOING TO COST YOU DEARLY IN MOST CASES, in LEGAL HASSLES & COSTS OR JAIL TIME, OR POSSIBLY COST YOU YOUR LIFE!
BUT, THAT BEING SAID, if your forced into a fight ,combat experience over the last 100 years has shown that anything significantly lower or less powerful than about a 9mm parabelum , is mostly a physiological crutch, that may make you feel more secure ,more than ITS REALLY AN effective weapon, that's effective at stopping a determined adversary, and once you get close too or get above the power level of the 44 magnum theres a serious trade off in speed of accurate repeat fire, and weapon size that's not generally to your advantage.
you better be 110% sure your fully justified before reaching for a gun, and not let emotions effect sound judgment! just because you've got a handgun in no way means that's necessarily the best tool or choice, running away, a good swift kick to the opponents family jewels , a quick punch in the opponents nose,or some apologies might be a far better route even if your 100% justified in fighting