I posted what I did to avoid being a hypocrite in my own mind. I preach to my students and players (yes I am coaching again, I was dragged back in at my new high school) to give more then you take in this life. And I felt that due to the perceptions and negativity surrounding my presence here based on past events that it was distracting from my contributions to the forum. The contributions in my mind that I try to make here and give back on the forum are from an individual's perspective doing all of their own work in their driveway. I did not feel that was happening anymore.
Thus I felt it prudent to practice what I preach. In no way shape or form was this a ploy for sympathy. I merely accepted the fact in looking back that I had choices to make in each situation that happened in the past and that the choices I made were mine. Further realizing too that I had the power to choose a different path that might have changed things and I should have made better choices, PERIOD! I certainly would have made better ones if I had the chance to do it all over again. But that is a Hollywood script, not life. So I try to learn.
I had stayed away from the forum for a while and refrained from posting things on several occasions (I was even thinking of being a supporting vendor for my PC business) just because I knew what would be the result; a constant and sustained attack against me. It does tend to get old after a while. But I completely blame myself, no one else.
And although my greatest gratitude is towards Rich and Gordon for their support, without the belief from the collective forum community as a whole of my ability to be a contributor here, I become a detractor instead. Satisfaction in my life is at its highest when I feel I make a difference and give something back, which is why I teach. I want to feel that way here too. I hope you understand.
Thank you for your time.
Cheers
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