[MADN3SS]

Additional stuff in post #6

From his book entitled "Napalm & Silly Putty".

Short Takes
If the police never find it, is it still a clue?

There is something I like about the clitoris, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

People on a diet should have a salad dressing called "250 islands".

They say only 10 percent of the brain's function is known. Apparently the function of the remaining 90 percent is to keep us from discovering its function.

When you think about it, 12:15PM is actually 11:75AM.

An Art thief is a man who takes pictures.

Euphemisms
At some point in my life, the following changes have occurred:

toilet paper = bathroom tissue
sneakers = running shoes
false teeth = dental appliances
medicine = medication
information = directory assistance
the dump = the landfill
motels = motor lodges
house trailers = mobile homes
used cars = previously owned vehicles
room service = guest room dining
riot = civil disorder
strike = job action
zoo = wildlife park
jungle = rain forest
swamp = wetlands
glasses = prescription eyewear
garage = parking structure
drug addiction = substance abuse
soap opera = daytime drama
gambling joint = gaming resort
prostitute = sex worker
theater = performing arts center
wife beating = domestic violence
constipation = occasional irregularity

Ok, that's enough for now. More later...