How do I become an illegal alien?
An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The Honorable Tom Harkin
>>>>
>>>> 731 Hart Senate Office Building
>>>>
>>>> Phone (202) 224 3254
>>>>
>>>> Washington DC, 20510
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Dear Senator Harkin,
>>>>
>>>> As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
>>>> Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have
>>>> contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to
> determine
>
>>>> the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to
> you.
>>>>
>>>> My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
>>>> Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
> passed
>>>> by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this
>>>> bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in
> the
>>>> United States for five years, all I need to do to become a
>>>> citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the
> last
>>>> five years.
>>>>
>>>> I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the
>>>> process started before everyone figures it out.
>>>>
>>>> Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to
>>>> pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
>>>> two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any
> way
>>>> that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
>>>> excellent
>>>> result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and
>>>> 2005.
>>>>
>>>> Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
>>>> emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have
>>>> stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
>>>> figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
>>>>
>>>> Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
>>>> daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
> school
>>>> applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many
>>>> colleges throughout the United States for my son.
>>>>
>>>> Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
>>>> burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
>>>> car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
>>>> still have college age children driving my car.
>>>>
>>>> If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
>>>> illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
>>>> forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Your Loyal Constituent,
>>>>
>>>> Donald Ruppert
>>>>
>>>> Burlington, IA
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
I think we should all apply for illegal status!!!
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