You can't make some people happy

[85vette]

An attorney got home late one evening, after a very taxing day trying to
get a stay of execution for a client, James Wright, who was due to be
hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the
governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as
he got through the door at home, his wife started on him about,

What time of night do you call this? Where have you been?" and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and
poured himself a shot of whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the
bathtub pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told
that her husband's client James Wright had been granted his stay of
execution after all.

Finally realizing what a day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs
to give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her
husband's rear end as he was bent over naked drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

He whirled around and screamed, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WOMAN, ARE YOU GOING TO BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING!?"