Women's Laughter

[Suicide King]

Thought I'd Share....


> WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
>
> She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
> Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
> Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
> Her boyfriend is on the cover of Play girl.
> And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
> ************************************************
>

WOMEN'S REVENGE


> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
> purchase.
> As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set
> in her purse.
> "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
> "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
> and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

> ************************************************** ***************
> >
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
> (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>
> I know I'm not going to understand women.
> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
> pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
> and still be afraid of a spider.

> ************************************************** *****************
> >
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>
> While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
> Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
> "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's li kes and
> dislikes."
> He addressed the man,
> "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
> Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury,
> isn't it?

> ************************************************** ***********
> >
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>
> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
> neither of them wanted to concede their position.
> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
> the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
> > ************************************************** *************
>
WORDS
>
> A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
> 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
> The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything
> to men...
> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
>
> > ************************************************** ********************
>
CREATION
>
> A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
> so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
> "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
> God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
> God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
>
> ************************************************** ***************
>
WHO DOES WHAT

> A man and his wife were having an argument about who
> should brew the coffee each morning.
> The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
> and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
> The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
> you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
> coffee."
> Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the
> man should do the coffee."
> Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
> So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the
> top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
>
> ************************************************** *************
> The Silent Treatment

> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
> and were giving each other the silent treatment.
> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake
> him
> at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
> piece of paper,
> "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had
> missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't
> wakened him,
> when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
> The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[2Vettes]

Very, very good!