The Penis wants a Raise

[9T8Vette]

>
> I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
>
> 1-------- I do physical labor.
>
> 2.------- I work at great depths.
>
> 3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.
>
> 4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>
> 5.--------I work in a damp environment.
>
> 6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
>
> 7.------- I work in high temperatures.
>
> 8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.
>
> Reply: Dear Penis,
>
>After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
>raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
>
> 1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
> 2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
> 3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting
>other locations.
> 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
>in order to start working.
> 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> 7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
>the correct protective clothing.
> 8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
> 9. You are unable to work double shifts.
>10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
>the assigned task.
>11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and
>exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
>Sincerely, The Management
>
>Five reasons not to be a penis .
>
> 1. You're bald your whole life.
> 2. You have a hole in your head.
> 3. Your neighbors are nuts.
> 4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and...
> 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

[2Vettes]

Well, that about covers it all