Viagra...(definitely offensive)
OK, so one of the guys I know, who is in his mid 40's gets his hands on an old timer's Viagra...it's weirder than you think because the old guy is the guy poking his mom, but that's another story.
Anyway, the guy, I'll call him Phil, or more accurately 'FILL' once he takes the pill, takes viagra...you have to understand, he asserts, there's nothing wrong, he's doing this as an experiment, so he can tell us what it's like as he definitely ain't got a problem.
He said that it works quick...the next thing he knew he started walking around the house, in a 'happy' state, his hips thrust forward, light headed, wondering where all the blood went.
Right at that time his wife calls from the shower and she tells Fill that she forgot to get a towel. So be brings two heavy bath towels in to the shower and he didn't use his hands. She's impressed so he gets in the shower and nails her right there...repeatedly. She crawls out of the shower and Fill proudly surveys his domain, walking around the house in his birthday suit because the kids are gone for good and he can do that now.
He sees the family dog wagging it's tail and he decides he can not only imitate it in speed, but in ensurance. They stand there facing each other, eyes narrowed like Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cliff establishing dominance both of them furiously wagging. The dog, intimidated, crawls under the couch and had to be coaxed out later with a piece of steak a few days later.
So Fill is looking around and his wife happens to come in to the room. She can't outrun him, so he nails her again and again. She tells him that if he ever takes the pill again, she'll kill him before he kills her.
So Fill again surveys his domain. (This is when his story becomes hard to believe.) He told us he used his pecker to drive nails. He simply swung it sideways and put them in...finished putting up the trim boards...he set the nails by driving straight forward! We sorta found that hard to believe, but he pointed to a nail that was justing out nearby and said he could prove it and started flashing twenties as bet money...he would have but we stopped him.
Anyway, back to that night...after a session of him shooting pool, (I don't have the capability of telling that story like he did, he won eight ball, nine ball, and straight pool without a cue, he then three holes the wife and tries to go to sleep.)
He can't. For 45 years he's slept contently on his stomach. It just didn't happen so he has to go out to sleep on the sectional poking his stuff through between the chair cushions and sections...after he propped the chairs up a bit with books because he didn't want to risk rug burn on the tip!
The next morning he was going to complete putting in his backyard fence so he looked for the sample pack and found his wife had flushed the pills! So he had to do the post hole digging by hand!
Well, Fill told us that he couldn't understand Viagra...he didn't have any problems before, didn't have any less problems during...other than almost killing his wife, but he was just a bit more horny rather than harder!
So if Viagra really doesn't make you harder, it just makes you hornier...
Well, it dawned on me...unlike the early days for those male enhancement drugs, the one where they put devil horns on the guy when there was a fine assed brunette sashing her ass in front of a guy watching a ball game, no man and damn few women wouldn't be aroused by her, especially with that looks she gives!
The ads have changed...look at those women in them ads now!
The guys don't have a problem, it's them flabby, shrivelled cows that they have to tap that is the problem!!!!
They don't need a pill, they need something f*ckable!
In the old days, didn't it just take a six pack plus?
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