The Blonde and the Milkman...

Rich427 · 02-07-2007, 08:02 PM

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a
note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He
thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So, he knocked on the door to
clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I
found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up
with milk and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "Do you want it
pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my t*ts. I can splash it in my eyes."

SteveK · 02-07-2007, 08:08 PM

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

2Vettes · 02-07-2007, 09:27 PM

ynkedad · 02-08-2007, 05:34 PM

How do you Drown a blond?

Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

SteveK · 02-08-2007, 07:03 PM

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started. "Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .."He sighed........

"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."

ynkedad · 02-08-2007, 07:07 PM

SteveK · 02-08-2007, 07:50 PM

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blond was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed w ith her lady boss. Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again and they asked the blond if she was going to go with them.

"No way," the blond exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."

2Vettes · 02-08-2007, 08:01 PM

OMG how blonde can they get???

2Vettes · 02-10-2007, 09:13 AM

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied,
"especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over a mere 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin; one team got it; and then for the rest of the game, all they kept
screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Hellooooo? It's only 25 cents, for Pete's sake!!!"

ynkedad · 02-10-2007, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveK

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blond was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed w ith her lady boss. Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again and they asked the blond if she was going to go with them.

"No way," the blond exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."