who say's UPS doesnt have a sense of humor

[larryk 87]

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight UPS pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet which tells mechinics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P ), And the solutions recorded by Maintenance ( marked with an S )

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor

P: Left inside main time almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced Left main inside tire

P: Test flight oK, except Auto Land very rough
S: Auto Land not installed on this aircraft

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

Pead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back order

P:Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P: DME volume unbelivably loud
S: Adjusted DME vloume to a believable level

P: IFF inoperable in off mode
S: IFF always inoperative in off mode

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: Thats what friction locks are for

P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect your right

P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious

P: Target radar Hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Installed cat

and my favorite:

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer
S: Took hammer away from midget

[2Vettes]

Thanks, very funny. I needed a good laugh

[85vette]

This has been around awhile! As a former member of Navy Patrol Squadron 19, and 31, I have seen this before. Brings back memories. We (I) have actually used some of these on MAF's (maintenance action forms). Especially the "sounds like Little man with hammer". " Could not locate little man with hammer, left ear plugs on pilot's seat..."

[SteveK]

"P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer
S: Took hammer away from midget"

Andy...... again

[vett boy]

made me laugh.