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Just For Laughs! Got a story to tell that tickles the funny bone? Heard a REALLY good joke? How about sharing those stories here with us? |
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12-10-2007, 03:08 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bradenton, Fl.
Posts: 2,363
Name :
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Scrotum injury....
A pastor asked if anyone wished to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood up and walked to the front and said "I have a praise."
Two months ago, my husband,Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.
You could hear an audible gasp and moaning from the men in the congregation as they imagined the horrific pain that Jim suffered.
She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the remnants of Jim's scrotum together and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again the men in the congregation squirmed around imaging poor Jim's surgery and condition.
She continued, "Now Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say that in time, his scrtom will heal completely."
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor arose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.
A man rose and walked up to the front. He said, I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, Once again, the word is Sternum!"
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12-10-2007, 04:57 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Me ,FL,
Posts: 1,669
Name :
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I've got a true one thats close.We hang a lot of structual steel and one of the iron works was setting on a beam.Another piece of steel ended up getting set on his scrotum .It hurt so bad he couldn't scream.Another worker noticed his demise and motioned the crane up.Thankfully the man was able to get down unassisted.
Talk about a bunch mealy tough iron workers getting squeamish.Then he pulls down his pants to show his injury and all the men turned away sayin' they didn't want to see nothin'
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12-10-2007, 08:09 PM
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#3
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Wassup!!!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Weirsdale Florida (Lady Lake area)
Posts: 3,001
Name :
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__________________
I bro...
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12-10-2007, 09:08 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: On the road
Posts: 2,122
Name :
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In another painful real life story....A few years ago my department got a new training tool. Simunitions! That is weapons that fire wax bullets to be used in real time training. It comes with a helmet and a chest protector that straps all the way down around your crotch. We practiced several senarios where we entered an old, dark, double wide trailer and confronted a "bad guy" that also was armed with a Simunitions weapon. ( 9mm Beretta's) In one exchange of gunfire, my buddy, Scott, took a round down low. He came out howling! And there we are, all of his buds, calling him a wussy. After a few minutes of his whining, he finally took off the protective gear, dropped his jeans, and revealed a black streak (blood blister) on the inside of his thigh, about 1/4 inch below his ba**s! It hurt me just looking at it. Those things are propelled by a live 9mm load! Not as hot as a NATO round, but, obviously hot enough!
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12-11-2007, 09:08 AM
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#5
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Vicious Evil Person
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Seffner - Tampa
Posts: 1,730
Name :
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__________________
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Website
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12-11-2007, 04:13 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Me ,FL,
Posts: 1,669
Name :
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. AntiVenom
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If you we're a guy you'd squirm to.Kinda like draggin' finger nails over a chalk board but far worse.
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12-20-2007, 04:26 PM
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#7
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SEA, WASH
Posts: 6
Name :
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thats hilarious guys.
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12-20-2007, 05:49 PM
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#8
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: JAX FL
Posts: 891
Name : Bob Fletcher
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I'LL SET HERE EITH MY LEGS CROSSED
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12-21-2007, 08:13 AM
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#9
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Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 437
Name :
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Here is one
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