• Got the Contributing Memberships stuff finally worked out and made up a thread as a sort of "How-To" to help people figure out how to participate. So if you need help figuring it out, here's the thread you need to take a look at -> http://www.corvetteflorida.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3581 Thank you, everyone! Rich Z.

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  1. 85vette

    You'll love this one!

    A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red Corvette and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she...
  2. 85vette

    As a matter of fact...

    Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to...
  3. 85vette

    For the Ladies!

    Male Strippers Last night, my blond friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls, Jenny, wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, Jenny licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek! Not to be outdone...
  4. 85vette

    The Butler did it!

    Once upon a time, in a country manor somewhere: the lady of the house told James, the butler, that she and her husband would be out very late that night, and that the butler was free to retire early if he liked. Arriving home alone, and much earlier than expected, the lady of the house called...
  5. 85vette

    Illegal Aliens

    Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien...
  6. 85vette

    The Purina Diet

    I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital...
  7. 85vette

    Ain't nobody here but us chickens!

    John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. > >He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten > >roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city > >folks). > > > >The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into > >the soup pot...
  8. 85vette

    Be careful what you wish for!!

    Two men are driving through Florida when they get pulled over by a County Deputy. The Deputy walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHAP, the Deputy smacks him in the head with the stick. "What the hell was that for?" the driver asks. "You're in...
  9. 85vette

    Ouch!!

    In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one...
  10. 85vette

    You can't make some people happy

    An attorney got home late one evening, after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, James Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he got...
  11. 85vette

    Bad day in South Dakota

    A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I...
  12. 85vette

    Had a close one yesterday!

    I was headed to Tallahassee yesterday evening, around 7:30 I'm going past the Wal-Mart in Crawfordville, when I see an older, 80's model brown Dodge extended cab truck coming out of the parking lot exit, and he's not even looking my way!! I pulled into the other lane to avoid the collision ( I'm...
  13. 85vette

    Kids say the darndest things!

    One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and...
  14. 85vette

    Quick Thinker

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense". The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't...
  15. 85vette

    My kinda woman!?

    Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America , and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but...
  16. 85vette

    Lead me from temptation!!!

    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriff's Deputy. He knows that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a much better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense... Deputy says, "May I see your license and...
  17. 85vette

    C4 Hydraulic hood support upgrade

    I'm trying to upgrade my 85 hood support with a hydraulic one. The top portion is a direct bolt on to the hood. Does anyone have pictures of how the bottom mounts to the frame (I guess) by the radiator? Unsure what year support I have, but it mounts on the drivers side. The original (scissors...
  18. 85vette

    Homeowners Ins.

    Has anyone used this link to see how bad you are getting soaked on your homeowners insurance? http://www.flgov.com/shop4insurance. It's very handy and shows quite a difference between the various companies.
  19. 85vette

    How to tell the sex of a fly

    How to Tell the Sex of a Fly This is the cleanest E-mail joke I've come across in a long while! A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. ! Killing any?" She...
  20. 85vette

    Oh, Man!!!

    "Hello?" "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now." Brief Pause. "Uh, okay...
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