Confessions from a wildlife abuser....

[Rich Z]

Yes folks, I am a wildlife abuser..... Sad to have to admit it, but I guess I really need to come clean with my sordid affliction.

Connie (my partner in crime) brought a cooler filled with 6 dozen live blue crabs back from the seafood market she just bought them from this past Friday. I had set up the torture chamber for the crabs, awaiting her return...








The crabs were put into the torture chamber in lots of around 18 and then had a mixture of Old Bay seasoning and salt thrown on them while a combination of water and vinegar boiled underneath.










35 minutes later (for each batch) the deed was done and the crabs were thoroughly killed and discolored from the steam and seasonings. The odor was nearly overpowering (but in a GOOD way!).



Then to add insult to injury, like wild animals, Connie and I tore the crabs to bits, smashed the claws with hammers, and devoured the hapless creatures, leaving a wake of carnage that would not be matched even by a pride of lions tearing into their prey.






And to make matters much worse, I bear absolutely no remorse for my deed. To be perfectly honest, I would happily do this all over again (and hopefully will) sooner rather than later.


Those crabs were absolutely scrumptious. Beyond any reasonable expectations, those were the BEST steamed crabs I can ever remember having. Out of the entire 6 dozen, there was not a single one that wasn't absolutely perfect.

Although we started early (Friday) this was supposed to be a sort of birthday (July 21) gift for me. But we did finish them all off on Monday, so certainly this fit the bill for as nice of a birthday gift that I could ever hope for. Four solid days of eating perfect steamed blue crabs is something I wouldn't have dared even dream for considering it's been quite a while since I've had ANY even slightly decent crabs to eat.

So anyway, there it is. Guilty as charged, or at least self admitted and confessed. Call the wildlife officials if you will, as all the evidence of the discarded shells from those crabs are readily available in piles out in one of my bamboo groves where we dumped them. Haul me away, I will go off to jail with a smile on my face.