SOMETHING TO OFFEND DAMN-NEAR EVERYBODY
1. What's the Cuban national anthem?
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.
6. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
7. What do you call an Arkansas farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
8. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
9. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
10. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
11. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all isn't gonna believe this sh!t..."
12. 100 years ago when 100 white men chased 1 black man across a field,we called it a Ku Klux Klan rally.
Today they call it the PGA TOUR.
13. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
1. What's the Cuban national anthem?
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.
6. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
7. What do you call an Arkansas farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
8. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
9. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
10. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
11. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all isn't gonna believe this sh!t..."
12. 100 years ago when 100 white men chased 1 black man across a field,we called it a Ku Klux Klan rally.
Today they call it the PGA TOUR.
13. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
