Connie

Well................now it's my turn!
September 19th I took the trash out to the street to be picked up the next day. It felt like I pulled some pectoral muscles, but the pain went away quickly and I didn't think anymore about it. Then on Friday the 23, I was vacuuming the house and noticed the pain again. Had lunch with Dotty, and after lunch was done, I asked her to take me to the hospital because it felt like I needed another stent.
We went to Milton hospital, where I was admitted for observation and taken to my room. I had to go to the bathroom, so I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, came back to my bed, and bent over to unlace my sneakers. Got a helluva chest pain that also went down my left arm and numbed the 2 smallest fingers. I had an idea of what was going on, so I popped a nitroglycerin tablet, but it didn't seem to ease the pain, so I hit the call button. They put me in ICU with a nitro IV drip and tried to arrange an ambulance to get me to Beth Israel Hospital in Boston, but none were available for at least 7 hours and by that time Beth Israel had given up my bed, and were not taking anymore patients because they were full. Had to spend the weekend at Milton on a nitro drip till a bed opened up at Beth Israel.
Got to Beth Israel on Monday the 26th and went right to the Cath lab. They did a heart catherization on me, but did NOT insert any stents. Met with the cardiac team and was told that I had 3 blockages, and that none of them qualified for a stent. Bottom line.......open heart surgery for a 3 vessel bypass. Milton hospital had given me plavix as a blood thinner, and Beth Israel had to wait for that to work it's way out of my body before they would operate. Had the operation on September 29, and left the hospital on Wednesday October 6.
Got home, and have been recovering here since then. Getting better every day, but I would advise anyone to alter their lifestyle to prevent this from happening. The first 3 or 4 days after surgery ARE A BITCH! I've got an 8 inch scar on my chest, scars on both legs, and a bunch of miscellaneous little scars and scabs all over my chest. I was told that the episode at Milton hospital was a heart attack, but that it was mild and didn't do any damage to the heart itself. Looks like I dodged the big bullet myself!
So, how are you and Connie doing? I'm hoping that both of you are recovering successfully, and doing well. I'm pretty sure that getting old is NOT for the poor, or faint of heart! Heading to Florida will be delayed this year, till I get this behind me.
Andy

Andy,

No, that doesn't sound like fun at all. Honestly I was VERY worried about my second stent, as I was still on blood thinner and there was no mention of my stopping it prior to the stent insertion. I was scared to death that my arteries had been weakened (based on how easily I was getting bruised) and the artery was going to burst when they put in that stent. Which would have meant opening me up like a big clam shell, in a race against time before I bled out. There is nothing about heart surgery that even hints at being attractive and fun.

Hope you are going better, and will heal quickly and completely.

I seem to be doing OK. I wanted my cardiologist to cut back the dose on that Prasugrel blood thinner I am taking, but he was resistant to the idea. So I started cutting the tablets in half and taking only 5mg per day instead of 10. Until I found out that cutting the tablets was not recommended. Could not find any reason why it wasn't recommended, but thinking that I shouldn't buck fate, I stopped that practice. But I started taking the pill in the evening instead of the morning, thinking that the drug would dissipate somewhat over night, and during the day when I would be most likely the expose myself to bruising, the bruises wouldn't be as bad. I think it did help somewhat, but still, I bruise 1000% more easily than I used to.

Connie has switched to a different oncologist. She just was not comfortable with her first one. The first oncologist actually stopped treatments, and wanted to put Connie on Doxil, which is a pretty harsh chemo drug. Seemed like she was dragging her feet, wanting Connie to get an OK from her cardiologist, and it wound up going on two months with nothing happening. Connie was scared to death over what she had read about Doxil, so she wanted a second opinion from another oncologist. We actually tried to change oncologists at the original place (Florida Cancer Specialists) and it happened, but only for about a day, when somehow we got switched back. No satisfactory explanation for that from anyone. So we went elsewhere.

Connie and the new gynecological oncologist at Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center seemed to mesh really well. Like two old friends talking. So instead of just a second opinion, Connie decided to just switch over. The new oncologist wanted Connie to finish up the cycles of the original drugs she was getting at FCS, so she is in the process of doing that now. Connie's last blood test showing the CA125 tumor marker score had risen a bit, after a consistent downward trend, so that is concerning. The new oncologist told us that this was likely to happen, because other factors can influence that score, but still, it did take a lot of wind out of our sails things things were looking really good. The last CT scan, taken in August (I think) didn't show any new developing tumors, so that was a good sign. I think there will be another scan scheduled sometime in December, so that will be "pins and needles" time waiting for the results.

Oh yeah, the new oncologist was shocked that the original oncologist hadn't put in a port for the chemo drug infusions. Those drugs can really mess up veins, and honestly getting yet another IV line put in every time Connie would go in for infusion was extremely stressful for her. So Connie decided to have that port put in, even at this late date. That was a bit painful and uncomfortable recovering from that minor surgery, but it has healed over pretty well now, but Connie says it still feels a bit uncomfortable. But at least it makes it much easier for the infusions.

Connie has been feeling mostly OK, under the circumstances. She has lost much of her hair, even using that DigniCap thing that is supposed to help. Probably she would be completely bald right now without it, so I guess it did help. Side effects haven't been as bad as we had thought. Very little nausea, probably from the anti-nausea drugs they give her. But she still gets an over all "just not feeling well" for a few days after the chemo. She is getting chemo every week this month, so there isn't going to be much down time for her. She is trying to keep food in her, even though her appetite will come and go. She is down to 105 lbs right now, but fluctuates up to 110 sometimes.

I got a prescription for Diazepam (Valium) from my Primary Care Physician back in May (before she left the network and struck out on her own) to help me get through the periods when Connie not feeling well puts cuts into my soul. I have to hold it together to be there to support and help her, so I can't be melting down over this. Honestly, though, it is really, REALLY tough.

Rich, glad you seem to be on the mend, and happy for Connie that she found an oncologist that she's comfortable with. You never can tell where help will come from. I was having trouble keeping my blood sugar under control, and on a whim, decided to talk to a pharmacist at the VA. Just like Connie, I felt really comfortable with her, and with her help we're getting it under control. Dot and I are keeping her in our prayers, and tell her to keep moving forward and NEVER give up!
Andy

Prayers to all of you. Knock on wood, my health has been pretty good for a guy about to turn 66 next month. But it certainly appears that getting old can be an expensive endeavor.

Rich, just think how bad it would be if you still owned the reptile business! At least you're retired and can devote some serious time to Connie and yourself.
Andy

Oh, that would have been VERY bad. I probably would have had the heart attack sooner, and more extensive. So every animal we had would have died because Connie certainly couldn't have taken up the slack. I would have had to just burn down the buildings, because I would have never been able to get the stench from the dead animals out of them.

Semi funny thing about my heart attack. When Connie got diagnosed with cancer, I prayed to God to take whatever he wanted from me to help her get through this. On the way to the hospital in the ambulance, I was thinking "Well God, you certainly didn't wait long to take me up on my offer. So now it is up to you to keep your end of the bargain."

85vette said:

It's just a reminder that everything on God's Green Earth will pass eventually. Everything living was created to die. Just another page to be turned.

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With Connie having cancer, this is something my mind just cannot absorb right now. I suppose when people marry and take the vow "until death do us part" no one really stops and thinks what that really and truly means.

Very true Rich. None of us give much thought to dying it seems. We're all too busy living. And I still wonder who that old guy is looking back at me in the mirror in the mornings. I do know that it happened a lot faster than I expected it to. And I don't expect to get out of this world alive.

My best friend from my Navy days died two years ago at the age of 62. Another Sailor that I know just lost his wife. She was 60. A guy I worked with in the 80's passed away in 2019 at 59. I'm not liking this either my friend.

I will say, we better be right with our Savior, Jesus Christ. I hope that you two are believers. The other option is not good.

Well, definitely getting off topic about rain, but what the heck. Not like it is going to make much difference in this forum.

A few months after Connie's diagnosis, I was walking from one of the buildings towards the carport, trying to talk to God. I was angry and distraught. Why Connie? The world will be a much darker and colder place without her in it. Of all the people in the world, SHE definitely does not deserve to have this happen to her. I was nearly to the carport when suddenly I heard a voice. It was like no voice I have ever heard before, and I can't even recreate that voice in my mind again. I was every voice I have ever heard rolled up into one. And that voice said to me as clear as a bell, "Trust me, Rich." I just stopped dead in my tracks, wondering if I actually heard what I heard or was really losing my mind.

Not long afterwards Connie and I were taking a walk up the road and a pastor for the church on Zion Hill Rd. was outside cleaning up the area. We stopped and talked with him for a while, and eventually he took us into the church to show us around. While we were standing in there, the front door to the church suddenly swung open. Now there wasn't any sort of breeze, and even so, none of the other doors or windows were open. The pastor's eyes widened a bit when I said "Come on in, God." We talked about Connie's situation, and he asked if he could pray for us. I have to admit that I had a lot of tears in my eyes then.....

So, signs or just my imagination making something out of nothing?

Oh yeah, right after Connie's diagnosis I really, REALLY prayed to God to help her. I told him I would give from myself whatever it takes to give health back to her. What EVER it takes, I would give. So when I had my heart attack, I thought he took me seriously. Matter of fact, on the way to the hospital in the ambulance, I did say to him, "You didn't waste any time taking me up on my offer, now did you?" Had a lot of people tell me I should have died that day. So God extending a hand to me again?

Interestingly enough, I actually did have God step in to give me a helping hand a long while back. I had just gotten my driver's license and had my Mom's Bonneville out for a drive. I was making a left hand turn into another road, going a little faster than I should, when I heard someone beep their horn. Like an idiot, I thought someone was beeping at me, so I looked around to see if I could tell who it was. When I turned my attention back to where the car I was driving was heading, all I saw in front of me was the back end of a parked car. I had swung too wide and was headed for a collision. No way I could avoid it, and I didn't even hit the brake or try to swerve left or right. I just clenched the steering wheel as tight as I could, closed my eyes and thought "Mom is going to KILL me!" And then, nothing. I eventually opened my eyes and I was just drifting on the road I had turned onto, well past that parked car. I had to pull over to the side of the road I was shaking so badly. I did not understand what had just happened. There is no way possible I could have avoided hitting that parked car, so *someone* stepped in and plucked me out of what was going to happen.

So of course, I have to ask the question, "Why me?" I am no one special. Why would God be looking out for me? Why would God tell me to trust him in reference to Connie? Well, I do believe Connie is special and perhaps that I why God has stepped in a few times in my life. I am supposed to be here for her.

So as to being "believers", not sure what that actually means. Sure, I believe in God, and I know Connie does too. When I told her about God speaking to me, she looked at me in awe. She doesn't doubt for an instant that it actually took place. But for the life of me I cannot understand why would be special in his eyes, when there are so many other people who have died, or lost everything, and surely they prayed to God just as hard, perhaps MUCH harder, than we have for his help. So where my belief falters, is in trying to understand why God would have his hand on my shoulder when I can't see where I would be worthy of that much attention.

I know He has a plan for each of us, those who believe. And when I say believe, I'm talking about God's Word, The Holy Bible. Many people believe there is a God. Some believe there are more than one God.

But I am a Christian and I believe that Jesus was sent to earth as a man to die on the cross for our sins. And that He arose from the grave and ascended to Heaven with the promise that He would return and take those that believe in Him to Heaven.

It says in the Bible in John 14:6 that, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

This is what many have an issue with. So many, while they claim to believe in God, take issue with the part that tells us to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. Many deny that He lives. And some other religions would have you believe that He was just a man. Whereas in reality, He was part of the Trinity. Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

The bottom line is that if you don't believe in Christ Jesus, you don't go to Heaven.

The Bible tells us that God loves each and every one of us, despite our shortcomings. Why some die and some are spared, only He knows. Many have said they don't believe in God just for this reason. They don't know how a loving God could let bad things happen to good people. But our thoughts are not His thoughts. Perhaps one day we will know why things have happened the way they have.

I have had discussions about this. And I have to say that this is God's battle. Not mine. It is His word that tells of this. Not mine. I do not understand all of the Holy Bible. But I do believe it.

I'm not called to preach, but as a Christian, I am obligated to tell the good news. Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Romans 10:9,10

I have had my fair share of such conversations too.

In reference to Jesus Christ, the strongest argument I can come up with in favor of him being a real person/event is that SOMETHING so extraordinary had to have happened at the time period between 1 B.C. and 1 A.D. such that calendars were forcibly reset to ZERO to commemorate that person/event. What other person or event in all of known history had that same effect on humanity?

Something very notable to the extreme certainly happened at that time.

So how is Connie doing? Has she responded to the treatment?

If you want to move this conversation over to the other post I’ll understand.

85vette said:

If you want to move this conversation over to the other post I’ll understand.

Click to expand...

Done.

85vette said:

So how is Connie doing? Has she responded to the treatment?

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Well, that would be a yes and a no. One of the markers they use for ovarian cancer is the CA 125 blood test. During actual chemo, the number was dropping rapidly. Then when she went off of two of the drugs and still remained on the Avastin as a "maintenance" drug, the number is climbing back up again.

• 9000+ - May, 2022
• 984 - 06/16/2022
• 579 - 06/29/2022
• 335 - 07/20/2022
• 211 - 08/10/2022
• 154 - 09/20/2022
• 333 - 10/31/2022
• 146 - 11/28/2022
• 99 - 01/04/2023
• 64.7 - 01/17/2023
• 82.7 - 02/09/2023
• 157.3 - 03/06/2023
• 410.1 - 03/27/2023

A "normal" reading is between 0 and 35 or so.

In a meeting with Connie's oncologist (Dr. Stephens), she seemed to be pretty positive. She noted that Connie's CA 125 number was up (the last reading she had was from 03-06 since she didn't have the number from the 03-27 test yet). She said it is disappointing, but there are a lot of things that can affect that reading. I asked her what exactly that CA 125 is an indication of, since calling it a "tumor marker" sure makes it sound ominous. She said it was actually a measure of peritoneal irritation. The peritoneum (for when I look back on this and can't remember) is the lining of the abdominal cavity. Yeah, cancer can cause this number to rise, but so can anything else that might cause inflammation. I guess inflammation would not be a good thing, no matter what is causing it, though. But Dr. Stephens didn't seem real concerned about it. She did do a physical exam of Connie, and said everything seemed just fine with that.

On the positive side, physical exams are not showing any tumor formation, nor have the last CT scans Connie has had. Connie also had an echocardiogram of her heart done recently, and the tech remembered Connie and the problems she was having with fluid building up around her right lung. So he checked that out and said there was no fluid buildup to be seen.

She seems to be maintaining a weight of between 113 and 114 after dropping down to around 108 or so in the thick of the chemotherapy. So that seems to be a good sign. She seems to be tired quite often, but from what I have read, that is a long lasting aftereffect of chemo therapy. She never really lost all of her hair, and what she did lose seems to be coming back now. Some days she will tell me that she feels completely normal.

But we have both read extensively about ovarian cancer, especially the stage 4 version, and know that Connie is a LONG LONG way from being out of the woods. And is known to recur, and when it does, it can be pretty harsh.

So I pray a lot.

She has an appointment down at Moffitt Cancer Center in May. She likes her current oncologist here at Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center, but when we went to a local cancer support group meeting, everyone there emphatically told her that going to Moffitt for some opinions would be a real good thing to do. So we are following that advice.

Honestly, after that fiasco (ongoing) with the COVID vaccine and the way the FDA and pharmaceutical companies handled the alternate information about therapeutic drugs, I have little to no faith in them nor doctors who dance solely to the tune they play. So Connie and I spend a lot of time reading about alternatives. Admittedly there is likely a lot of BS and snake oil bantered about, but are willing to try to read through the chaff to see if there is actually some wheat kernels there.

So I guess we are both pretty much just walking on the knife edge of life these days. Very difficult to look at the future without getting sucked down into that black hole you know is lurking there.

I'll keep you both in my prayers also Rich. But I'm glad she's having good days and that the news looks to be good for the most part.

The internet used to be a great source for information but as of late it seems that there's more opinion posted than fact. Especially when it comes to health issues. And when you search for something specific then you get bombarded with ads and junk about that particular subject. And I swear my phone hears my conversations and links that with my computer!

I really long for the good old days, before technology took over. But with the advent of AI I'm afraid it's only going to get worse.

But certainly exhaust all options that you can. Have you looked to the Mayo Clinic for any help? My brother's father in law is an anesthesiologist in Atlanta and he speaks very highly of them.



https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ovarian-cancer/care-at-mayo-clinic/mac-20375952

Well, I made it through the 1 year anniversary of my heart attack last year on this date. I guess that is a good sign? :shrug01:

Connie had her one year anniversary from her cancer diagnosis on 04-27. That number "427" used to mean something entirely different to me.

Twenty years this year since I found I had Melanoma. Or as I say, my wife saved my life. She noticed an irregular area on my back and made me go to a dermatologist. Thankful for every day!

Congratulations on your anniversaries!

Been a long while since I made an update.

Short answer is, my wife and best friend of 45 years is dying. Despite the mainstream chemo treatments, despite the alternative drugs we were trying, despite her trip to Tijuana Mexico to an alternative treatment facility called Oasis Of Hope, and despite the hardest and longest praying I have ever done in my life.

She is now under Hospice care. This past Friday the hospice nurse said that based on similar cases she has seen, Connie would likely pass away within 2 weeks.

Now she is bed ridden in a hospital bed we have in the family room in our home. Both of her sisters are here to help out. Thank goodness, because I couldn't do this sort of care alone. She is obviously fading fast, and her speech is becoming almost unintelligible. None of us have had any unbroken sleep for a while now, because it takes all three of us to get Connie out of bed and to the port-a-potty and back again. Her legs have gotten very weak and she has difficulty maintaining her balance. She would definitely fall and hurt herself without our assistance.

I am a crushed and shattered man. She was my entire world. I went to my PCP doctor last week and got prescribed some medication to help get me through this (hopefully). I already had valium that was prescribed by an earlier doctor, which helped take the edge off of things a LOT of times, but this is getting REALLY heavy now. The stuff I am taking is supposed to take a couple of weeks to really kick in, so I am hoping it kicks in before I just lose my mind.

I don't have a single solitary clue about what I will do when (if? Still hope for a miracle.) she dies. A very VERY big part of me will die too.

The time comes when we all have to face the reality of death. Whether it be friends or family. It's certainly not easy nor something any of us care to face. And each of us deals with it in our own way. Losing a spouse is a life changing event. I do not look forward to that day. I don't know what I would do without my wife. Seriously. She has been my everything for over 30 years. Honestly though, if it comes down to it, I pray that she would go first though. As I don't want for her to have to deal with this world that we are now living in by herself. I would prefer to lose her rather than worry about how she would have to handle what the world has to throw at her without me to protect her.
And we have both accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior and by the Grace of God will meet again in Heaven. This is the best any of us can hope for. This world holds nothing for us. Christ is quite literally our only Hope. I pray that you and Connie have accepted Jesus as your Savior my friend. All you have to do is believe. I've seen enough in my life to know that He is real. Many times over.