Illegal Aliens
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger
alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling.
We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry
at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were
you." The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the
pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings,
Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that!
I don't think you should make him mad."
"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the
pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared
towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him
a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his
big,green head.
"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn
near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic
travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap his penis
around himself twice and then stick it in his ear."
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