Connie

A good friend of mine posted this on Facebook tonight. It seemed fitting to share it with you at this time.

One of the hardest news to accept is when the doctor says there’s nothing left to do, there are only two options: keep her sleeping until her body collapses or give her morphine to ease her pains." Our world fell apart and we didn't know how to break the news, we just knew we had to tell it.
We walked into her room and she smiled at us (our eyes were red and swollen from crying) and she said don't cry, I understand it's the end but there's no reason to be sad. She took our hands and cuddled us and we immediately hugged her. "Don't worry, it's part of life and you have to understand that we are all just passing through" (all while we cried like children unable to comfort ourselves). After she caught her breathing, we told her the options and she chose to stay awake so she could spend a few more days with us. Some days she woke up without pain, ate and some days she was very happy, laughing and we had great days (after many bad months)...
Definitely in the hardest times you know who your true friends are or the people who really values you. Unfortunately, most friendships abandon you and only send you "good vibes" but from a distance.

My friend lost his wife 20 years ago and raised his two children with the help of his mom and dad and family and friends. You never get over it. You just keep getting up every day and keep going. I'm on the road a lot but if there's something I can do, let me know.

Thank you for the kind words. But to be perfectly honest, I really don't know what reason I would have to get up out of bed in the mornings.

At 73, I am just too old to start a new life.

There’s never a good time to lose someone you love. But you have to search your soul and see what God wants you to do with the time you have left. He placed us all here at this moment in time for a reason. We just need to find out what the reason is. There may be someone that you can help down the line. Pray for answers.

There is no acceptable reason anyone could give me as to why Connie would have to die. She is literally an angle on this earth. That she chose to spend her life with me made me the luckiest man on this planet. That without God's help I will be losing her now makes me the saddest and most broken hearted person on this planet.

We are not immortal in our present bodies here on earth. Many of us struggle with this. We have eternal life but just not at our present location. This is why we need to seek salvation. A more important decision now than ever.

Today, I gave my last gift to my wife. On 11-02-2023 a pastor from the local church came by to visit. He blessed and saved Connie. Unfortunately I had a doctor's appointment and had to leave, so I didn't witness the entire thing. When I came back, the pastor was gone, but Connie looked at me smiling, and said "I have been saved." She looked so relieved.

Her sisters bought her a necklace with a cross on it to signify the event. Connie wanted to make it special and asked to have it engraved with the date. So today I did that for her on the laser. My hands were shaking the entire time, because I only had one shot to get it right. That cross is so small.

But it came out beautifully, and I put the necklace back around her neck, knowing this will be the last gift I can ever give her while she is alive.

I don't expect her to live through the weekend.

Rich, that's the best news you can hope for at this point! I know you're hurting my friend but now you know where Connie will be!

But understand, the Pastor didn't save her. Christ dying is what saved her. Connie made the decision to follow Christ. That is all that is required to get to Heaven. Believing that Christ is the Son of God and that he was sent here to die for our sins, rising from the tomb on the third day. And He will return!

Connie gave YOU a gift. Now you just need to follow her!

Connie passed away this morning at roughly 5:30am.

I’m sorry Rich. This is the hardest part of living my friend. May God be with you and your family at this time.

Rich, Dotty and I are truly sorry to get this sad news. At this point, the memories are all that’s left, and it seems to me that you’ve got a ton of those. Let those memories comfort you in the future, and try to deal with this situation as a celebration of life and not as a tragedy. Everyone will pass away sooner or later, so try to let your remaining time be spent remembering those memories until you eventually reunited with your “angel”.
Andy and Dotty Anderson

It was very odd Saturday morning.

I distinctly heard Connie's voice call out "Punkie!". That is short for the pet name we use for each other, "Punkin' Baby". The voice was her voice before her rapid down hill slide the past week or so. I was in a dead sleep on the couch next to her hospital bed. I happened to check my phone on the couch and it was exactly 5:30am. Not sure why, it just seemed important at the time.

So I got up to check to make sure she was still breathing. She was not. Her face was cold to the touch, but the back of her neck and torso were warm. I put an O2 sensor on her finger to check her pulse, and it was a straight line. Yeah, that is when I lost it. My Punkin' Baby had died. But somehow she called out to me in her passing.

Hospice was called and someone came out to verify that she was no longer alive. Then the funeral home was called and they took her body away. It is all a blur now. But I will never forget her face laying on the bed looking like wax and the fingers on her hands crossed across her chest being almost white. She looked so beautiful.

Now just to add to the weirdness, this morning I was awakened from a deep sleep, and felt I needed to see what time it is. It was 5:30am again. That was the only time I checked the time the entire night.

Real curious to see if that happens again. I sure would want to know what it means.

No idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life now. Connie's two sisters are still here, but soon they will need to return to their own lives. Being here all alone is going to be very trying, at best. Hopefully the meds I have been taking for just over a week will be able to pull me through with my sanity intact. But I really feel fragile and brittle around the edges.

I have heard similar stories from others who have lost their spouses. You may find yourself up at 0530 every morning from here on. The human mind is an amazing thing.

Brings to mind, back when I was 13, 14 years old I had the amazing ability to wake up at whatever time I desired without an alarm clock. I will never understand how that worked, but somewhere along the line I lost the ability to do it.

You are in unchartered waters Rich. Everything from here on is new. You'll have to reinvent yourself my friend. No one wants to be in your shoes because any of us could be next.

Praying for you for the strength to deal with life after your loss. It won't be easy. Nothing will ever be the same. And you won't get over it. You'll just learn to live with it as best you can.

Reach out if you feel the need. May God Bless you.

Today would have been my 46th wedding anniversary with Connie.

Sorry Rich. I know you're hurting. Wish there was something I could say, but I know there's not.