|
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ft Walton Beach, Fl.
Posts: 1,405
Name : Mark Dalton
|
For all you doctor wanna be's
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby
> in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed
> out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her
> underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there
> were several cabs and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr.
> Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.
>
> 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
> and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
> instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Submitted
> by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
>
> 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
> her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
> minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
> had died of a "massive internal fart." Submitted by Dr. Susan
> Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
>
> 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
> cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
> with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The
> nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running
> out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what
> I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his
> body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before
> applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
>
> 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
> long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
> answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
>
> 6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this
> morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
> to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the
> jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
> Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
>
> 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
> purple hair styled into a punk rocker
> Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
> entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute
> appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was
> completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her
> pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that
> read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
> wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to
> mow the lawn." Submitted by RN no name
>
> AND FINALLY!!!..............
>
> 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed
> when performing female pelvic exams.
> To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of
> whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon
> whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further
> embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm
> sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you
> were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". Dr.
> wouldn't submit his name
|
bro...
Linear Mode
