I'm seldom home as I travel a lot.Today I got home early and my wife asked if I'd cook some burgers on the grill and of coarse I agreed.
The neighbor has one of those yuppie farms .One of their goats got loose and barrels up the driveway and knocks my to the ground.I'm scheduled to go in for tendon repairs soon and I can't get up that easily.My dog Lizzie goes ballistic (part pit bull )then the English bull dog attacks .I yelled for my wife to get the dogs into the house .In the process the goat bolts threw the screen door into the kitchen .
The goat and the two dogs are on top of my wife and the dogs are rabid by this time.
I'm screwed up bad by this time only equal to passing a kidney stone during birth.I go for the closest gun which was a 22 pistol.I had to be careful not to shoot the wife because I really like her.I get three rounds off before the gun jambs
I can't get the shell out of the barrel and get it clear,the the damn thing falls apart.The wife gets the dogs into the pantry and she escapes.The goat is pizzin' blood all over the walls ,carpet but at least he's down but alive.
All the rest of the guns are in the gun safe and I don't want to leave the greater area so I call my second neighbor who didn't want to get involved.Finally I called 911 and the sheriff came within 45 minutes .He drug the critter out still alive and shot it in the drive.
Other than that I've been getting obscene calls on my cell phone from a gay guy in Quebec