• Got the Contributing Memberships stuff finally worked out and made up a thread as a sort of "How-To" to help people figure out how to participate. So if you need help figuring it out, here's the thread you need to take a look at -> http://www.corvetteflorida.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3581 Thank you, everyone! Rich Z.

Police Quotes

Bob K

Deceased
Got these from my buddy, a retired LEO in Ct.

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."


3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."


4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"


8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."


11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National
Crime Information Center )


13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


AND THE WINNER IS...

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't.. Sign here."
 
:lmao::lmao::lmao:
Like all other retired LEO's, I wish I had kept a journal of quotes and incidents! What a book it would have made :rofl1:
 
:lmao::lmao::lmao:
Like all other retired LEO's, I wish I had kept a journal of quotes and incidents! What a book it would have made :rofl1:

Hey Larry, I think those comments in the post were ones my buddy made. My favorite is #3. That would definitely give someone something to think about. :D
 
:lmao::lmao::lmao:
Like all other retired LEO's, I wish I had kept a journal of quotes and incidents! What a book it would have made :rofl1:

Larry, I knew (but didn't do poo about) the book I should have written adding every (dumbazz) call and all the wierd stories we experienced. Sure did wish I'd written that one. Would have been Websters thick and funny as hell. And, of course, now so far after the fact too many are lost.......:lmao:
 
Actually used #2 myself:thumbsup:

If you're still on the job print the list and try to use all of them. :D Maybe all of the guys on the job could create a contest and declare a winner maybe in 12 months. Grand prize would be coffee and doughnuts. :rofl1:
 
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